Queen Nzinga:
Greetings and Blessings to all my community supporters
Tue. March 29, '05
This is Queen Nzinga formerly known as Wendy Maxwell Edwards.
I pray to the ancestors that this letter finds you all blessed and in good
health.
I remember when I was in my early twenties maybe 23 or 24, I met here in
Costa Rica a beautiful man in his 50's maybe (may the energies of the earth
bless him wherever he is now). An English Cockney man who was what some may
call a bodhichitta (or student of Buddha). He helped me find solace in places
I never thought of looking. Peter Von Masenbach or Veet as his friends called
him told me one day that my gift was being able to bring people together.
I played his words many times in my head over the years. I did not understand
what he meant back then because I was at a time in my life where I felt as
if I was a wreck of a human being and I felt totally lost. It took me years
to begin grasping the meaning of this statement. In the past few years, I
have needed help of people in my communities that did not necessarily liked
each other and was placed in the position of negotiator, the in-between,
trying to find places of compromise for both parties so the community could
benefit from their talents at specific times.
But no other time like this. This time I have seen friends, colleagues, and
even people I don't even know coming together to help me. My God! I feel
blessed, I feel honored.
I have never felt so loved and appreciated as I do now, I have never felt
so confident in my alliances as I do now. I want to say to all my of you
that have been working nonstop on this campaign, that I thank you from the
very bottom of my heart. My children Stefan and Sade thank you all also.
I know that my ancestors placed you all in my way for a reason and let me
tell you, if I did not have you all behind me, backing me; I would feel completely
lost and desolate. I have fought many fierce battles but I could have never
fought this one alone. I want to remind you all that regardless of how you
may feel right now, I need you and I can't do this without you.
Being arrested was an event that I feared for the past 1 year and 3 months,
I knew it could happen but I never thought it would have happened on International
Women's Day. It happening on this day made my arrest a very special event.
However tortuous, it brought to the forefront the situation of non-status
people in Canada.
It brought to public attention the need for a Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell policy.
Non-status people fuel the Canadian economy and the economy of countries
around the world because we are at the bottom of the economic food chain.
If anything makes me glad is that the Toronto Police Force, chose to make
such a detrimental move for them and such a beneficial move for the struggle.
Everyone that did not know about Immigration's policies, knows now. That
is a good thing. Also it shows to everyone that thought women's lib movement
to be a thing of the past, it is very much a struggle of today.
At Vernier (the women's prison where immigration dumped me), I was only able
to see 5 of my friends, this was my only goodbye, and this tore me up. Once
again, I was saying goodbye to everything that was familiar and everyone
I loved. One of the people that managed to see me was my best friend Eve.
I said to her that I was afraid after I was gone everyone would forget about
me. She gave me hope by reassuring me she will make sure that nobody forgets
me and that she will keep fighting to the end till I'm back. The same words
I received from Mac, Tucker, Ash, Emma, Jen, and many others of my friends,
and I know now that this is the same way many of you feel and is the same
pledge of commitment you all have given.
Nowadays, my head and my heart is clouded by feelings of uncertainty, fear,
pain, frustration, powerlessness. Here I feel I have been taken from one
jail into another, I can't walk the street feeling safe, always looking over
my shoulder. This amongst other issues I'm dealing with i.e.: Old shit story,
dealing with old traumas and skeletons in the closet, etc, etc.
If it where not for the ancestors I would be going crazy. And in praying
to the ancestors in the past few nights, I received a message of total surrender.
This is what I decided to do; I surrender and leave my life in the hands
of the ancestors. There's nothing else I can do. I trust that my ancestors
will guide you if you allow them to cause they are the strongest force driving
this campaign. I know that you all feel their energy right now, in this very
moment, wherever you are.
I don't know if you all are aware of the situations that I'm facing here
in C.R. and I won't tell you about all of them cause I feel many of them
are very personal, and even if I wanted to they take a lot of energy to explain.
Suffice to say that they are not easy and I'm trying to deal with them one
step at a time.
These days I feel overwhelmed by this, I do my best to stop worrying so I
hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I have hope that it will all
be over and this I can remember as another successful battle in my life,
that me and my children would be safe and back in Canada.
I know I have a strong case, however, in all past applications to Canada's
Immigration, it did not matter how much evidence my councils presented to
make my case, the Canadian Immigration always found a way to turn me down.
I now understand that CANADA'S IMMIGRATION IS PRONE TO MAKE BIASED DECISIONS
BASED ON POLITICS AND NOT BASED ON MERITS. And this worries me…
I'm in tears right now as I play the image in my head of the day I'm back
and I'm able to hold, kiss and hug all of people who have become my friends
and family, every one I know. Cause for exception of my family, I don't know
anyone in this country. I miss my friends all soooo much. Amazing people
that I have met over the years. But my fear is that this wont ever happen.
I also know that if this last application is refused, I will need to move
to another country once again because I can't stay in hiding for the rest
of my life in this country. The gang tried to kill me before will try again
and they will find me. They did 3 times before.
This also makes me upset, I feel so emotionally tired right now and the prospect
of starting over in another country brings me sorrow. I need everyone's help
now more than ever. But regardless of what happen, after the birth of my
children, Toronto was the best thing that happened to me, it's the place
where I became a woman, it's the place where I was free to discover who I
am, where I was free to thrive. All my friends there, so amazing and full
of love, regardless of what happens, I will have then all in my heart for
the rest of my life.
I would like you to really think about this Nigerian Proverb…
TIKO BA SI IGI LE HIN OGBA MA NWO
This is Yoruba for "If the fence does not have props, it will collapse"
HARAMBEE!!!!
HARAMBEE!!!!
HARAMBEE!!!!