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Or maybe he was a sadomasochist? Into bestiality? A necrophile? Seeing as I haven't fucked or been fucked by Jesus yet, I really can't say what his sexual orientation is/was.
Unless he has fucked you or you have fucked him, you don't know any better than me.
All of which brings up an interesting question: why do so many Christians feel so strongly that their god must have been heterosexual? I doubt that very many have had any firsthand sexual experiences with the Son of Man on which to base their convictions, so why are they all so certain?
My guess is that its for the same reason as so many of them assume that their lord was white, able-bodied, relatively good-looking (certainly not fat). For the same reason that they assume he wanted to start a religion, that he would have voted Republican and opposed abortion today. Its like a New Right entrepeneur said a few years ago - "If Jesus came back today he would be an ad salesman"!
These assumptions tell us very little about Jesus of Galilee, but they do tell us an awful lot about the values of contemporary Christians. Incapable of seeing beyond their own historical context, they project their ideals onto their guru back two-thousand years, just as they project their fears into their vision of the Hell where all of the rest of us are supposed to end up.
Yet those who would resusitate the dying body of the Church by winning
it away from the powers and principalities who have controlled it for two
millenia can take heart in the fact that there are some Jesus-worshipping
organizations trying to promote a less heterosexually-blinkered image of
their God. Here are a few of their email addresses:
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If the question what made Jesus hard turns your clock, then check out these sites:
VERSES
MISSING FROM THE GOSPEL OF MARK
There are a number of people who have used art to explore Christianity and Jesus in some interesting ways. Here are some websites where you can view or read such works:
Lauren Dorosh's page about Andres Serrano , the artist whose Piss Christ put the religious right in hysterics
and I will be adding more sites soon!
DISCLAIMER: I realize that this page must come across as might Christ-centric
to those of you of different religions or who are atheists, but Christianity
is my heritage so its what I get to speak about. I do however maintain a page
of queer-positive
websites from other religions
.